Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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