Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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