he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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