i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
