i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
