Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
