that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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