Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
