Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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