It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish i was in the wii world.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
