Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize