We're facebook friends in real life
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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