Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize