Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
