i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
