btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
