I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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