A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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