why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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