he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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