im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
