Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
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his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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