Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think my moral compass just broke
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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