OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
