Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
