I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
