He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
