Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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