Operation Purity has been aborted
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
