omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
