first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
