remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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