I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
