I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
