you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
