Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
