I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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