video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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