Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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