after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
