your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
