I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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