I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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