The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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