It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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