Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
