whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
