Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
