google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
40s are totally the cure
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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