Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
