Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
