I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
