you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
