help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
