I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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