youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
