my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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