xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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